In the long list of foods that shouldn't work, but do: cook a couple of pieces of bacon in a wok. Once they're done, drain off most of the fat, leaving just a bit in the pan, and stick the bacon in a big soup bowl. Add in a cup or so of leftover brown rice. Fry that up in the bacon drippings. While that's cooking, mix an egg with a little water and soy sauce. Add that in to the rice and stir it around until the rice is nice and coated with cooked egg. Toss that into the bowl. Dice up a little sharp cheddar on top of it, and a handfull of your dad's cherry tomatoes. Eat. :) The only thing this is missing is garlic.