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little pink houses, for you and me 
2nd-May-2004 12:51 am
people tend to have friends who are mostly like themselves. it's human nature, really... some differences are fine, but really, in the end, we often like to be around people that we basically agree with, that are basically "on our side", that are easy going enough in their views that when we don't agree to something, we can let it go, we can say "fine, this is the way i've seen it, but i can see why you say that, this was good for me, that was good for you, we're all happy." it's a luxury, but one that (it seems to me, at least; a lot of folks would probably take umbrage at this statement) a lot of us want, or maybe even need. friendships aren't meant to be work; they're meant to enhance life. otherwise, why put yourself through it, right?

sometimes, though, you stumble across someone you adore, that you want to be friends with, but whose life paradigms and experiences are so far out from yours that once the initial shine of "hey, this person is spiffy, i should make it my business to know this person better" wears off, heads butt, people get cross, people get irritated. one person, or both, magically loses the ability to say "this is how it is for me" and it turns into "this is how it is." that may not be the way it's meant, but it's the way it comes out. and the friendship is work, at least for awhile - maybe a long while. in the end, you either decide that the work is worth it, and figure out how not to be snarly with each other, or you don't. and maybe one or both people end up a little more patient or tolerant, in the end.

it'd been awhile since it's really been an issue - the person in question doesn't like their beliefs talked about online, but they and i have some beliefs that are so far out from each other, and that we feel so strongly about, that it was really a problem for awhile. but we learned how to get around it, and put it aside, and even joke about it, now. and i'm very glad for it. and i hope to be able to continue to do so.
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